I don’t feel like I need Justin as a buffer anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’m not nervous. Last time I dropped a bombshell, I did it in therapy. I nod and look back up at the kids, gathering my courage. “But I live month-to-month in an efficiency apartment for almost nothing. Sure, he’s gotten more soft in the middle and has more of a “dad bod”, but he still runs every morning and I know he goes to the gym a few times a week. Even after quitting soccer, he’s still maintaining his physique. “Probably,” he admits, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his forearm. “Isn’t it illegal to not fix something like that?” I crinkle my nose at the thought of him emptying out the bucket under his sink several times a day. I’ve talked to him twice and left three messages now. “Did the maintenance guy finally fix that leak under your sink?” They have so much fun every time we come here. “How’s the apartment working out?” I ask him, as we watch the kids playing in the small fountain shooting out from the middle of the baby pool. It makes me feel confident that we have a real future as a family, which is the only reason I have enough lady balls to bring up a certain conversation. It’s a subtle shift and I’m sure most people who know him can’t tell the difference, but I can. Like he was pretending to be cocky before the fall out, but now he really does believe in himself. He’s always been confident and self-assured, but in a weird way, it almost comes off more genuine now. He hasn’t just spent time with them, he’s spent time with me, and I can see huge changes, not only in our relationship, but in him as a person. Since the kids and I moved into the house a month ago, Santos has been over every day. “What can I say,” he shrugs, “I just think you’re hot in general.” “You think any bathing suit looks hot on me.” “You were looking kind of hot over here.” He waggles his eyebrows at me, and I roll my eyes and grin at him. “I thought you needed to cool off.” He’s not fooling anyone and he knows it. He comes around my chair, gives me a quick smooch on the lips and settles in the lounge chair next to mine. You’re getting my Kindle wet,” I say with a laugh. “Eek!” I squeal, knowing exactly who’s doing it. Suddenly, I’m being showered with cold droplets. It’s only twelve inches deep, but stranger things have happened than a child drowning in a puddle. Santos quickly plucks our brood out of the water, and they take off for the baby pool, which means I have to spin my lounge chair around to monitor them. The whistles sound and the lifeguards all yell, “Adult swim!” to the chagrin of all the kids in the pool. Being almost two, I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed.
My boy still hasn’t figured out how to baby giggle. His deep voice comes out more like a “Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh” than a scream. But that doesn’t keep Theo thinking he’s just as cool as his sisters. Santos doesn’t throw him nearly as high, thank goodness.
When Santos throws Lina into the air, her eyes get huge and her mouth opens wide, but no sound comes out. She’s even more funny because she’s the exact opposite of Myra. She lands in the water with a splash and comes back up giggling. But who can blame her? When Santos launches her into the air, he doesn’t hold back. Myra’s scream can be heard from at least a block away. Mari laughs and the girls run down the hall to the stairs, Theo toddling behind them. “I have a sneaking suspicion I’m going to need to get to know my fellow teachers at the elementary school so we have some extra eyes on these two.” “It’s a good thing I’m working for the nearest school,” I say, as I take the kids down from their stools so they can go play. “I think they may be old enough now that we need to keep kissing to a minimum,” she declares, trying desperately to keep a straight face. I can’t catch my breath long enough to answer her. “Yow tongue is smooshy.” Lina giggles back. “Eeek!” the girls squeal, and we look over in time to see them pulling away from each other. Even if it’s not the way I envisioned it, it’s a start. We look at each other, smiling like cheesy fools. I feel like we’re moving in the right direction.
I’m so excited for you.” She pulls back and I want to kiss her again, but know the kids don’t need to see more than one make-out session today. I might even be able to sneak away to come to some of Myra’s school functions, too, since it’s five minutes away.” I could come have dinner with you and the kids at night and help you get them in bed. I squeeze her back, loving that we’re building enough trust for some basic affection again. “That’s amazing, Santos! Oh, I’m so excited! You’ll just be down the street!” Mari laughs in disbelief and launches into my arms, hugging me tight.